Families Change Guide to Separation & Divorce

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Acting Out

Sometimes teens respond to their parents’ splitting up by acting out — skipping or quitting school, partying, drinking or doing drugs, or breaking the law.

This might help you escape the situation and cover up your feelings temporarily. But reality and your feelings will always come back. If you act out, you might end up having to face other problems, and that will just make things worse.

Try to face the situation as best you can instead of running away from it. Here are some suggestions:

  • Try to be good to yourself, and help yourself feel better.
  • Use some of the tips for dealing with specific situations, listed in Strategies.
  • Check out some of the people, books and other resources in Resources.
  • Get help if you need it. 

Q & R

Q:
I'm feeling really upset and confused about my parents' splitting up. Is this normal?
A:

Your parents’ splitting up might be the hardest thing you've ever had to deal with. So it's natural — and entirely normal — to experience some intense emotions.

You will feel better over time. There are lots of ways to help yourself feel better, and there are people who can help you if you need it.

Q:
Can I do anything to get my parents back together?
A:

Most parents split up only after trying very hard to save their relationship. Their decision to split-up is usually final.

Some teens hope and believe that if they try to be on their very best behaviour, their parents will get back together. However, this plan isn't likely to work, since their parents' decision to split up had nothing to do with them.

Apart from suggesting that your parents see a marriage counsellor if they haven't already done so, the best thing that you can do is to begin to accept the situation so that you can get on with your life.

Q:
If my parents divorce, will the same thing happen to me?
A:

Many teens whose parents split up feel anxious about their own relationships in the future. But just because your parents split up doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. You can learn from their mistakes. What happens in your relationships will be up to you, not your parents!