Families Change Parent Guide to Separation & Divorce

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What You Should Not Say

  • Don’t burden the children with any of the anger or frustration you may be feeling.
  • Don’t give too many details about why you decided to break up.
  • Don’t blame the other parent.
  • Don’t make hasty promises or give children false hope that you’ll get back together.
  • Don’t overwhelm children with too much information. Keep discussions about moving, changing schools, lifestyle changes, etc. for another time. Older children may bring these points up, but if you haven’t yet made these decision, speak about them only in general terms.
  • Don’t tell your children to keep the separation or divorce a secret—they’ll need support from their friends and extended family. If you’re not ready for others outside the immediate family to know, then this isn’t the time to tell the children either.